I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
