I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
