Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize