Me too!
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
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