Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize