well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
My life is pants optional.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
