Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
