me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
