I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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