he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
