under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize