Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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