when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize