Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
