dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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