all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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