Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
