dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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