toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
