Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
