omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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