Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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