Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize