today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
