I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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