yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
