Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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