i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Who died my cat blue again?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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