remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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