batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
