"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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