I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
