margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize