you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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