You can't motorboat a personality
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
