I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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