so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
