This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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