Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You made out with two different species that night
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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