Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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