Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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