he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
