Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
