just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
