the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
How's work?
Spinning.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize