the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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