I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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