I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
My life is pants optional.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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