I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
