in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
