what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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