She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
