New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
