Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
