you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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