just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
