Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
