For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
