even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
