do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Randomize
