And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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