PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
