after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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