He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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