noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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