You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
