He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
