handjob tips. give me some.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Two words: blizzard sex
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize