Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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