i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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