fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
