physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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