You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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