woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
