he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Randomize
