I must be too annoying 4 u.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
