God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
